This is a very special edition of RockON Magazine, no Madonna didn’t guest write an article. She doesn’t return our calls.
No, this is a special edition of RockON, because we have that British northerner back! You know, the guy who wrote the last article, about the lights – that nobody could understand? So yeah, he has a new article, all about crabs… and stuff…
…Oh, hang on a sec, the editor is just telling me that the reason this edition of RockON is so special is because it’s celebrating the launch of Crime Boss: Rockay City… Yeah that sounds more like it!
Anyway, so yes, Crime Boss: Rockay City! The game about the city I work in, is finally available to buy on Epic Game Store – I will just drop the link in RIGHT HERE, so you can all go and buy it straight away. But I’m sure you lot have bought it already, especially if you’re reading this garbage… haaaaahaa, I mean… piece of work divided up by many-a-literary genius.
CRIME BOSS: ROCKAY CITY IS OUT NOW ON EPIC GAMES!
BOSS GOSSIP! Rockay City Crime Boss Kicks the Money Bucket in Devastating Explosion!
Report by Fran Ann McGann
Even if you didn’t see the explosion, you heard it.
The top floors of a skyscraper raining down debris across Rockay City – which took out the King of crime in Rockay City. The destruction and damage to public property will no doubt run into GAZILILLIONS.
There’s greater damage to the city than the fiery debris that rained down on flashy cars, high class bars and people wielding cigars. Yes, that’s right, RockON’s very own chief editor’s ZR1 got a metal pipe through the windshield, and it just exploded. It’s now a dust pile. They haven’t stopped crying since.
With the king of crime gone, rival gangs are now carving up the territory, which means that the uneasy peace that Rockay City has now ended.
The violence on the streets is increasing, both from those upholding the law and those breaking it. The gangs are out for territory, and the cops are out for revenge.
That’s not the only new problem, a new drug, blue in colour and going by the street name ‘Candy’ has hit the streets. The gangs aren’t just supplying it – they’re fighting each other over the supply. I’ve heard of one shipment that was stolen, then stolen back. All in one day.
At least it keeps me in a job! So, on that bombshell – here is a quick rundown on how to make it big in Rockay City!
ROCKON IN ROCKAY
BAKER’S BATTLE – CAMPAIGN
It is the ultimate single player experience of Crime Boss: Rockay City – players get to take on the role of wannabe crime boss Travis Baker, played by Michael Madsen. He is competing against, THE ONE, THE ONLY – Sheriff Norris.
He runs Rockay’s law enforcement, and he will be collecting evidence against you. He can also slice a knife in half with hot butter and apparently, he uses his pepper spray to spice up his filet mignon.
So basically, the better you perform on a heist, the less evidence you will leave behind and the less Sheriff Norris will be on your tail. If you fail the job, then Norris and his team will find you very quickly. The main goal of Baker’s Battle is to become the King of Rockay’s underworld and gaining control over all the turf in the city.
The Sheriff is not the only one you need to deal with. You will be competing against ruthless rival gangs – including rival boss Dollar Dragon played by Dany Trejo, Hielo played by Vanilla Ice, and many more who also want to claim the thrown to Rockay.
But Baker is not alone. He is joined by his best buddy, captain ‘Touchdown’, played by Michael Rooker – he commands an army of thugs to do Baker’s bidding. Casey played by Kim Basinger will advise Baker on where to spend resources. Nasara knows about opportunities and will help the manage the crew. Gloves played by Danny Glover is the inside man, he knows about valuable jobs worth preparing for.
Bigger heists are more difficult, and the risk is higher, especially if Baker personally takes part in a job. Yes, Baker can die, yes actually die – but fear not, in Rockay everyone gets a second chance – well that’s what my
So, on your next play-through, you may not die as much. However, you will notice that a few things have changed. Baker may receive different opportunities, plotlines that lead to different heists and different random events. No one will ever experience the same game twice.
CRIME TIME – QUICK PLAY
Quick heists, quick money, and big rewards.
Do you want so money fast? if so then a Crime Time Quick Play is for you! Jump to the map where there are randomly generated jobs for you to select. They are small, opportunistic hits that would naturally present themselves in a city such as Rockay, so there are always plenty to choose from. You can put a crew together for the job, but being small, short hits, you could decide to take all the rewards for yourself – this makes them ideal to play solo, or with bots.
There is a roster of ‘Classic Teammates’ who have randomised stats, perks, and weapons, these guys will always be at your disposal. There is also ‘Unique Teammates’ who become unlocked as you progress in the other game modes. These teammates have skill sets and a debatable fashion sense – as well as more powerful and specialised weapons. All Teammates need to be recruited with cash, but there are some who will do it for the thrill of the job and cost nothing.
Cash is also used to buy better weapons, recruit more Teammates, bail out Teammates, or assist Teammates medical recovery. Sadly, you cannot assist with a Teammates choice of garment. That is their choice, and we should all respect their freedom of expression – however dire it may be.
URBAN LEGENDS – CO-OP STORIES
This mode is pure fun 90’s action. It’s totally rad and/or tubular – and probably gnarly too!
In the Urban Legends mode, you can play through six short campaigns. Each campaign consists of three missions that must be played consecutively, each getting progressively tougher. You will have four unique teammates to play with and an additional two as back up.
You can choose any of them to play solo or with bots, or you can play online with friends in co-op. As with the main game, if a character dies, they are out of the crew for subsequent missions.
What a City Beach
When our reporters have very little to do, we often must find things for them to do. This is one of those times. We sent our Miscellaneous Topics Reporter, Karl McGnal down to the infamous City Beach to write us a report on why it is the best beach in the whole of Rockay!
Report by Karl McGnal
So, I’m here at this beach, right? Yeap, it’s erm called City Beach. And it’s a bit of a mess, to be honest. There’s trash all over the place, and it’s not exactly the cleanest beach I’ve ever seen. But there’s something kind of charming about it, you know? Like one of those pug dogs – it’s a bit odd looking and rough around the edges, but it’s got character.
Anyway, there are these crabs everywhere. I mean, they’re just scuttling around all over the place. And they’re not the prettiest things in the world, let’s be honest. But they’re kind of fascinating to watch. They move in this weird, sideways, jerky way that’s almost hypnotic. And they’re not scared of people, either. I’ve seen them come right up to someone’s towel and start investigating.
I thought I would start investigating the crab, you know, as it was investigating the towel. But then suddenly, the crab ran up between someone’s legs who was laying on a towel and sliced off their neon pink swimming shorts. They managed to do it only using their big claw. I mean that’s impressive, sometimes I have trouble getting into a packet of peanuts. Turns out the person on the towel was a guy who worked for the Rockay City Police Department. He got up and started running around like a crab too – covering his bits with his police hat. That’s how I knew he worked for the police department. What a day.
But you know what really makes this beach worth a visit? The ice cream. Oh, my days, the ice cream. It’s like they’ve got a little ice cream stand set up in the middle of all this chaos and ‘crabbage’. They’re just churning out these amazing cones. I don’t know how they do it, given the state of everything else around here, but they just nail it.
The ice cream comes in all sorts of flavors, too. They’ve got your classics like vanilla and chocolate, but they’ve also got some really creative stuff. I had a scoop of blueberry basil the other day, and it was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever had, and I usually hate that fancy stuff. I mean, who would have thought to put basil in ice cream? It sounds mental, but it works.
So yeah, if you’re ever in the area and you’re looking for a beach that’s a little rough around the edges but has amazing ice cream, City Beach is the place for you. Just watch out for the crabs!
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RockON Magazine’s Top Places to Eat Out in Rockay!
Tom’s Pizza – If you deviate from the menu that’s when things start to go wrong. Our features editor once asked for anchovies – that was a year ago and they still have an indentation on their forehead shaped like a block of cheese. So as long as you like Margarita, Margarita with extra cheese and Margarita with no base – it’s just a box of melted cheese, then you should be fine.
Chicken Barbeque – The RockON team have yet to have food poisoning here, so that’s a good sign – It’s also why it made the list! As for the food itself, it’s chicken. It’s just like how your mother (who you really hate) used to make food – greasy, crunchy and unidentifiable.